Avia Photography

My photo
Columbia, Missouri, United States
Warning, the following ramblings are those of a sometimes sidetracked photographer avoiding accomplishing tasks on her list. All we ask is that if you use one of our photos from here or elsewise, you kindly give us credit. = )

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Crossroads

So this is Brian, making my first guest blogging appearance. I don't really know what this is going to turn out like, I just know there is a story to tell, and that I want to tell it.

Two nights ago I found myself sitting in bed at about 3 a.m. in the morning, thinking and praying. Recently, and after much prayer and consideration, Mallory and I had decided that I should go back to school and get a masters degree. At the end of May I quit my job, (which worked out really well as Avia takes much of my time) and began preparing for school. The photography business had put us in a position where I could go back to school and not take out loans this time around. Everything seemed to be falling into place.

So why was I sitting up at 3 a.m.? I was praying about direction for our business and lives when, somewhere around midnight, it hit me. I had always seen our photography business as a means to an end--a way to achieve our dreams, but not as a dream itself. My dream to support us financially and allow Mallory to be free to do whatever she wanted without having to be the breadwinner. After sitting there for several hours I realized that we had a choice. We could go forward with a dream of me being a breadwinner and Mallory being free to do whatever, but that would still have us living two different lives. Or, as we had already begun doing, I could forge ahead alongside Mallory and her incredible gifts, hand in hand, in Avia. But we couldn't do both, I'd discovered in the last week that there weren't enough hours in the day. One of the dreams would have to be given up. We were at a crossroads.

As I continued to pray and listen for guidance, the picture of what we have been doing with Avia became clearer. The gifts God had given Mallory through photography became painfully clear and overwhelmingly beautiful. Realizing that we had to make a choice, I began softly sobbing. Mind you, I'm not the emotional type, but at 3 a.m., when you are considering the possibility of either you or the most important other person in the world having to give up something you've set your eyes on, crazy things happen. Mallory woke up to this scene and had no idea what was going on. When she asked what was going on, I think I gave her quite a scare since it took me a good 3 minutes before I could find where to begin.

As I was explaining the situation to her, about how we couldn't keep on going like we were going, or otherwise we'd never get to spend time together again (if you've met with us, we've mentioned the Five Love Languages, and time is HUGE to the health of our marriage), I already knew what my vote would be. Could I do well at G.I.S.? Yes. Would I get a great job? Yes. But does it take a rocket scientist to study G.I.S.? No. Some say I'm a smart cookie, but I have nothing extraordinary to contribute to academia on an Einstein or Hawkings kind of level. Mallory on the other hand....

I believe that God sees beauty in each and every person. He sees us all as beautiful, wonderful, intricately made creatures that he created uniquely special. Mallory has always said that it was her desire as a photographer to try to capture that beauty. Speaking as someone who has literally seen well over 50,000 pictures she has taken, I have seen firsthand Mallory's incredible ability to capture the beauty of God's creation and as I sat up very very late praying and thinking, many of these images flashed before me. This may sound cheesy, but when I thought about making a decision that would deny even one person the opportunity to see a glimpse of their beauty as God sees it, I felt real palpable guilt and shame. Who am I to deny people an opportunity to experience that? How selfish would that be?

Needless to say, I told Mallory all this. I saw her gift in photography even clearer that night than ever before. I explained it to her that it would be as if she saw a vision of me in a huge concert hall playing before thousands of people bringing them to tears because of the beauty of my music. You couldn't then deny me, in right mind, of creating that music to move so many. That's what her photography is like and there is no way that I want to deny that. In this, I realized that she cannot do it without me. WE cannot do it without one another. There are aspects of Avia she will always be overwhelmed with and I can continue to be there to take care of them. Needless to say, all of this probably ranks as some of the best things a wife could ever hear from her husband, so, at that point, Mallory started to cry too. To make a long story short, at 3 a.m. in the morning on a Tuesday, I decided to pursue and devote 100% of my energies to a dream, OUR dream, for Avia. Not for what it can do for us, but for how it can bless others. I cannot describe to you the joy of sharing a dream with your spouse, and working towards it together. It is one of the biggest blessings I have ever received. I choose the extraordinary over the ordinary, working alongside my wife rather than in different spheres. How awesome will that be? Besides, I asked her to marry me because I couldn't stand spending the rest of my life without her. Luckily she said "yes".

So to Mallory I say, thank you for an opportunity to be a part of something amazing together with you. And to everyone else reading this, thank you for all your support. My hope is we can be as much of a blessing to you as all this has been to me.

p.s. Mallory always says that when you post, you have to post images, so here you go

2 comments:

Melissa McCrotty said...

Awesome! Mallory, I think you have a keeper there :)

I applaud your ability to realize dreams change shape, Brian.

I plan to enjoy watching, from Russellville, Arkansas, your business rise to great heights.

Silver Image said...

Well, a major decision. Making it was difficult, but yours is a wise one IMHO. Analyzing your feelings and writing about them so eloquently was more difficult, I imagine.

Brought a tear to my eye, and you know how hard that might be to do ;-)

john