.:megan & ben or, how-to-get-ridiculously-beautiful-photos:.

Months ago, I wrote a short "how to" guide for getting photos you'll love on your wedding day but I kept waiting for the right photos to illustrate it since, let's face it, a "how to" guide on a photography blog just doesn't cut it without pictures.

One night, I realized my inspiration was here. Meet Megan and Ben, the lovely couple who will be our unknowing guinea pigs today in our illustration of how to get ridiculously beautiful wedding photos.








Megan and her mom Kathy did a FANTASTIC job planning her wedding. So let's see if I can't use them as examples of how your hard work in planning can translate into spectacularly awesome photos. Bear with me, this will be long, but informative!

Step 1. Pick a photographer whose photos you are enamored with. Yes, yes, I know that we are photographers and it seems like maybe we are tooting our own horns here, but seriously! I get SO sad when I meet girls who talk about their wedding photos and end with, "Oh well, it's not like we would have kept them on our walls forever... I guess it isn't the end of the world that they didn't really turn out." They often say they knew they wanted good photos but either didn't spend enough time researching photographers or decided to cut the budget on their photos. (Or a family friend/cousin/uncle/roommate volunteered to do it for free with their new digital camera despite the fact that they'd never actually photographed a wedding before).

Call me silly, but I think that every couple needs a photo of themselves that reminds them why they love one another so much. The laughter, the passion... the EMOTION that a good photograph can display is astounding. Even more astounding sometimes is how not knowing/having the right equipment can easily strip emotion from an image (read: onboard flash may actually be the devil). You'll be surprised how many persons that call themselves photographers don't even know how to use their less-than-professional equipment on manual, let alone use flash in a way that isn't invasive and overwhelming. In the digital age it's easy to buy a digital camera, pull photos into photoshop and slop a few ridiculous filters and effects on a photo and then call yourself a photographer. I can feel myself getting on a soap box so let me stop before I get into a fullblown rant! If you are still curious why you should hire a professional rather than letting your friend do it, check out this short article done by a blogger who explains it much more intelligently and convincingly than I can: http://photofocus.com/2010/01/25/and-you-call-yourself-a-professional/

Chances are if you are already getting addicted to following a photographer's blog and stalking the photos they post on facebook then you are on the right track. (By the way, if you are not reading this on facebook, our facebook fan page is here--I frequently update photos from shoots there.) Each photographer has a different style that appeals to different brides. Our couples have a tendency to be much more laidback than many others. However, you'll know you've found your photographer when your breath is taken away (or when you read their entire blog in one sitting late one night). There are many area photographers whose work I love and deeply respect who all have a different point of view. If you love looking at their photos of strangers this much, chances are you'll love your photos that much more!

Megan and her mom signed with us almost a year in advance from a recommendation of a co-worker of Ben's. Funny story is that they ended up still attending a Bridal show we were at many months later and when they got to our booth Megan's mom let out an astonished, "Oh my gosh, these photos are so beautiful, but we already have a photographer booked! Oh no!" To which Megan coolly responded, "Well, fortunately these are the photographers we already booked, Mom." A good sign, no doubt, that they made the right choice!

Step 2. Make sure you have light-and LOTS of it. Great pictures need great light. Lots and lots and lots of it. If your ceremony/reception is not being held outside it's really helpful if you consult a professional lighting design company on how to best light up your spaces. The best light is natural and, on occasion, there is a church that has enough windows that extra light isn't necessary but these are few and far between. (We personally have the best low light camera on the market and we still get in sticky situations!)

As I learned in my art classes, lighting is KEY. If you don't have great light (or, as a photographer, if you don't know how to create great light) the photos look... well... not so great. There are companies like Millennium Music that do fantastic packaging services and will not only DJ your reception with style but can also bring professional lighting equipment at a great price.

Step 3. Choose gorgeous locations. Nice hotel rooms with lots of fabrics and textures make for much better "getting ready" rooms than church nurseries with Noah's Ark decals on the wall. When the mother of the bride is shedding tears seeing her baby girl in her wedding gown it kind of kills the mood of the photo when the background is filled with cribs and brightly colored toys. (Weird we don't think about that, I know!) The same goes for ceremony and reception sites. The more textures and colors and more beautifully decorated the place, the more likely you'll love your photos. When everything has white walls and no decor, you'll be surprised also how it can so quickly make the moment feel much more bland in retrospect than it was in real life.

Megan and Ben did a FANTASTIC job with their locations. They picked a ceremony site that was not only dear to them (they were in youth group together in high school) but also absolutely dazzling. It had great architectural features, gorgeous teal walls, tons of stained glass, 8 million side chapels, and beautiful dark pews. It was a little scarce on light but we were prepared and the photos turned out beautiful!

For their reception, Megan and Ben knew they had to find a place with as much personality and spunk to complement their ceremony venue but the problem was that Fulton was a little sparse on classy reception sites. Finally, Megan's mom found them the perfect place--Westminster's new dining hall! When Megan and Ben first heard "dining hall" they were skeptical, but after they saw the photos on the website they realized that Megan's mom had found the perfect place indeed. With a castle-like facade, fantastically high ceilings, exposed wooden rafters, a huge stone fireplace, gorgeous wrought-iron chandeliers with glowing candle-like fixtures, and TONS of natural light, we couldn't have asked for a more amazing reception venue!






The great thing about Megan and her mom, though is that they knew not only to get great ceremony and reception venues, but to think about their getting ready photos as well. When I met with Megan and her mom a few weeks before their wedding, I was pleasantly surprised to find that they had already booked a B&B for the morning of the wedding for Megan and the girls to prepare in! The girls had their wedding day breakfast that morning complete with fruit bouquet and brownies in a gorgeous B&B parlor and went upstairs to get all gussied up after they were done. I arrived around that time to take photos of the last minute preparations and we used the pleasant scenery around us to do the girls' shots and a few of Megan on her own (much more sophisticated than Noah's Ark decals!):







Brian, meanwhile, was a few blocks away at the church taking photos of the guys, Beatles style:

Step 4. Consider hiring a wedding planner (or at least a wedding coordinator the day of your big day), especially if details stress you out like they do most of us! We can tell you from experience that brides and grooms who don't have to worry about the details on their wedding day (not to mention mothers of brides and grooms!) are much more relaxed and smile a whole lot more on their big day (plus, they normally get more than two hours of sleep the night before!). More sleep and less stress equals better memories for your day and much better photos! I like to delete grumpy faces when I get home so the less grumpy I see, the more photos you'll see in the end!

If you or your budget isn't keen on the idea of a wedding planner or day-of coordinator, just put someone in charge from your circle of friends and family that will not hesitate to be the boss and bark orders (in a tactful way, of course) on the day of your wedding. Think of your friend or aunt that loves making lists, is ridiculously anal retentive about details, and loves to tell everyone what to do. If you don't have a wedding planner, put this person in charge and utilize their gifts! And make sure that you give that person your phone the day of so you aren't overrun with people calling you to ask questions every five minutes.

Though Megan and her mom didn't have an official wedding planner or coordinator, they had the rare gift we all want that meant that they took care of all of the details well in advance. No writing programs the night before the wedding or frantic shopping the day of, the two had lists and plans far ahead of the wedding day! That meant deciding on a pink and white candy bar for guests at the reception which translated into, sacrificially, having to rid those Valentine's red candies (I know, poor Megan and one of her bridesmaids had to eat all those extra red m&ms that came with the white and pink ones. Total bummer, right?)

It meant that they picked out talented professionals like Kent's Floral in Columbia and trusted Kent's to run with their vision. The results were stunning and Megan and her mom gave them very little direction other than their big picture and color scheme. Can we say smart cookie to trust the professional? (It makes you wonder why silly people like us try so hard to decide things on our own when we have access to such talented people who have been in the business much longer than we've been planning our weddings!)






It meant choosing a menu and a bakery, coming up with unique table cards and actually making them (which, by the way, were oh-so-adorable school photos of Megan and Ben throughout their growing up years).



And, finally, finding a way to make their wedding uniquely theirs. Megan and Ben honored their parents and grandparents by putting up black and white, poster-size images of them cutting the cake at each of their respective weddings years before and Megan's mom helped the groomsmen surprise Megan with her very own stylish ride (read: padded wheelbarrow powered by groomsmen) into the reception hall that mimicked the very same trick that happened to Megan's grandmother on her wedding day.





Step 5. Create a "first look" and do your photos beforehand. I'm not a salesperson and I never want to be, but if I had to sell something about weddings, I would sell the fact that it is sooooooooo incredibly wonderfully fantastic and romantic and amazing and cute and insert-positive-adjective-here when couples decide to set up a "first look" meeting prior to the ceremony (plus it makes really stellar photos when the two of you are crying and staring deeply into one another's eyes all alone or giggling together). Many, many couples are doing it today and I can promise you that all the ones we've photographed are still together, despite the age-old admonition around here that it's bad luck! I can pretty much guarantee you that you will not be disappointed that you saw one another before the actual ceremony.

We've found that couples who do a "first look" tend to be not only much more relaxed and enjoy their day more (you'd be amazed at how much just the sight of your hubby-to-be will relax you prior to the ceremony!), but it also tends to afford us a lot more time to capture those amazing photos of the two of you together that day, whereas photos after the ceremony tend to be rushed since the guests are waiting. Ultimately, it's your decision and your photographer will totally respect that but I can bet you that there isn't a photographer I know that would not be thrilled to add on to the list of why it makes everyone's lives less stressed that day!

By the end of the ceremony your crabby Aunt Irma is ready to get to the reception and get some nourishment because being around all of these people has drained her (and don't think she won't give you glares letting you know that she's sick of waiting around for her turn at pictures), the ring bearer and flower girl refuse to cooperate because they have missed their nap time because of your wedding, your bridesmaids' feet are killing them from wearing the oh-so-cute-but-ridiculously-painful-heels and they just want to be done and into their flip flops, the groomsmen have had ten too many sips that day on the monogrammed flasks you gave them the night before and are more than ready to get to the reception to get alcohol in larger quantities, the guilt is weighing heavily as the faces of friends and relatives that told you in the receiving line that they have to leave town early so they'll just say 'bye' to you at the reception haunt your imagination between shutter clicks, and, to be honest, you're sick of smiling and standing and you just want to sit down and rest for a moment since it's been three straight hours of you being on your feet so far. What should have been a leisurely photoshoot afterwards often ends up rushed and stressed with lots of crabby, hungry people and we, as photographers, do our best to work quickly, efficiently, and kindly despite the myriad of complaints that are often thrown our way. Instead of a peaceful photoshoot full of emotion and wonder between the bride and groom, their shoot is often tacked on at the end, hurried and... well... not what you probably want to put above your fireplace for the next twenty years.

Megan and Ben are among many of our couples who choose to do a first look. They have known each other since they met in youth group and still haven't lost their joy for one another. I always count it a privilege when we are there for those first moments when they see each other. What joy!







It was ridiculously hot the day of Megan & Ben's wedding but since they saw each other prior, we had plenty of time to get the shots they wanted. When it came time to family and wedding party photos, we had the time to take breaks between every few sets of shots to let the bridal party run inside for a quick air conditioning and water break and then run back out to put their smiles back on. The bridal party was relaxed, cool, hydrated, and decidedly UN-crabby thanks to Megan and Ben's planning ahead. And also, the photos we got of Megan and Ben were great because they were so relaxed the whole time! With time to breathe we got to explore with just the two of them.








Step 6. Remember to enjoy your wedding day together! I think one thing that surprises couples most often as they look back on their wedding photos afterwords is that, other than their posed portraits from the day and the two of them up at the altar during the ceremony, there are so few photos of the two of them actually together. Often brides and grooms are so preoccupied with saying hello to everyone that they forget to spend time with one another! We will have the photos of their first dance, their cake cutting, the two of them laughing at the best man's ridiculously short and unprepared toast and then... well... that's it.

Megan and Ben stayed by one another's side almost the whole day. They remembered what many of us forget on our wedding day, that they like being together, which is, apparently, why they got married in the first place! They figured out long ago that their wedding day was one they wanted to share with one another as well as family and friends. We were so honored to be a part of it!


















So thank you, Megan and Ben, for choosing us, for being so cute, and for becoming unknowing guinea pigs on how to have amazing wedding photos. You all are inspirational, for reals. (Oh, and your new puppy, Maci, is too adorable!)

With love and peaches,

Mallory (& Brian)

.:for you, beautiful woman:.

My dear, sweet sister reading this,

It has come to my attention again recently that way too many women, like you, hate their bodies. Or parts of their bodies. Yes, I am talking to you.

You and others like you sit in front of a mirror or a photo and tell yourselves (and sometimes those around you) how your nose is too big or your forehead too small or your bum too skinny or your thighs too fat or any number of other things on a list of why you are ugly because you don't look like a Victoria's Secret Fashion Model.

Well I am here to remind you, just as your friends and family often do, that you are absolutely stunningly gorgeous. It doesn't matter that I have not seen you. It doesn't matter that your knees turn inward or that your ankles are a little thicker. It doesn't matter that there are a few hairs on your chin that, had you let them grow at their own leisure, would be dark and sticking out of your moles. Let me tell you that you are beautiful, mole hairs and all!

You are too hard on yourself. All your friends tell you so when you complain about some part of your body that has plagued you for most of your life. You don't believe them. But now is your chance! You are precious in God's sight and creatively and uniquely made--tailored to His tastes! He fashioned your nose to have character and be decidedly yours (mine has a huge bump on it that Brian swears is adorable). He gave you a body with lines and curves that are unique to you. Rather than hating yourself, embrace yourself! You are gorgeous, my friend! Don't listen to the lies of all of those magazines and books and ads that tell you that you need to look like that. Look at your friends around you and how you love their curves or unique nose or curly hair or funny limbs! You, too, are a stunner!

My dear friend, if you are still not convinced you absolutely, 100% need to watch an episode (or two, or ten) of a show called "How to Look Good Naked". It isn't scandalous or risque or inappropriate. It's about ordinary women like you and me learning to love their bodies again. It's time, my dear, that you love yourself again.

So curl up in front of your computer and give yourself at least 45 minutes to watch an episode. I PROMISE you'll begin looking at yourself in a new light. Maybe even love what you see when you see yourself in your skivvies!

http://www.mylifetime.com/shows/how-to-look-good-naked/video/

your prayers are desperately needed

I know I've been absent for awhile from the blogging world, catching up on photography stuff and the like, but I make this exception for something very important, baby Lane who needs you!

This is baby Lane who is 6 months old. Thursday, August 19th, he was life-flighted to Columbia from Jefferson City in an induced coma after an accident involving a fall. He has had a lot of internal brain bleeding and seizures and, if my information is correct, has yet to wake up. They think the emergency surgery they did last night may have stopped all external seizures but he is still in really rough condition. His parents and family are beside themselves. Any prayers would be greatly appreciated for this little one.

For those that doubt the efficacy of their prayers, I give you this excerpt from a study on the effects of prayer!:

In 1998, Dr. Elisabeth Targ and her colleagues at California Pacific Medical Center in San Francisco, conducted a controlled, double-blind study of the effects of "distant healing," or prayer, on patients with advanced AIDS. Those patients receiving prayer survived in greater numbers, got sick less often, and recovered faster than those not receiving prayer. Prayer, in this study, looked like a medical breakthrough.

In 1988, Dr. Randolph Byrd conducted a similar study at San Francisco General Hospital involving patients with heart attack or severe chest pain. He found that patients receiving prayer did much better clinically than those who did not.

Currently, Dr. Mitchell Krucoff at Duke University Medical Center in Durham, North Carolina, is studying the effects of prayer on patients undergoing cardiac procedures such as catheterization and angioplasty. Patients receiving prayer have up to 100% fewer side effects from these procedures than people not prayed for.

These are impressive double-blind studies, meaning that no one knows who is receiving prayer and who isn't. This eliminates or at least reduces the placebo effect, which is the power of suggestion or positive thinking. However, the studies I find most impressive are not done on humans. For example, when bacteria are prayed for, they tend to grow faster; when seeds are prayed for, they tend to germinate quicker; when wounded mice are prayed for, they tend to heal faster. I like these studies because they can be done with great precision, and they eliminate all effects of suggestion and positive thinking, since we can be sure the effects aren't due to the placebo effect. Mice, seeds, and microbes presumably don't think positively!

(If you want to read more on the effects of prayer, go to this page http://www.dosseydossey.com/larry/QnA.html I haven't read it all but you are welcome to explore!)

Your prayers are effective and greatly coveted, whomever you are! Please take a moment (or two or ten!) and pray for baby Lane.

.:why stubbornness can be an asset:.

My most recent photography fetish as of late is finding spectacularly creative ways to photograph wedding bands. As I was pondering the "why" to this question, I decided that it all has to do with my inherent stubbornness. Since as far back as I can remember I've always been that girl who was... well... stubborn. I always had to do something different. Perhaps go the extra mile, but stand out for sure. Not to prove to other people that I was better but to challenge myself.

For example, when my Intro to Art teacher told us to to do an organic shapes design that had balance both in its color and placement of shapes I, of course, chose to do human shapes in a completely symmetrical fashion and balance the color by using the rainbow color scale rather than choosing fruit or leaves, arranging them in a balanced scene and then using a complimentary or split complimentary color scheme to fill in the objects.



When I was in High School in Art 1 we were told to do a pencil drawing of a car using drawing pencils. But of course I couldn't just draw a car. I had to ask special permission to draw my family's home (which took me months longer!) and used mechanical pencils just to prove I could do it. (Which I realized years later was ridiculous but... then again, it worked, right?)



In Watercolor 1 at Mizzou when we were supposed to do a simple, quick watercolor rendition of an artist's painting I instead chose the ridiculously time-consuming Winslow Homer painting, Adirondack Guide. (As a side note, you can tell this is my painting and not the actual as you can see my reflection holding a point and shoot camera in the glass!)


When I was a P.A. (think R.A. for those of you non-Mizzou people) in the residence halls I couldn't do a normal bulletin board with basic information, I had to create pictures with the paper and die-cutters and fill the space in an artistic fashion. Bulletin boards that should have taken me 10 minutes to prepare instead took me three or four hours. Why? I guess I just wanted to do it.

Finally, take the example of one of my plays I costume designed. When a friend asked me to costume design a community theater rendition of Godspell for no pay I decided that, rather than taking the easy way out and costuming the actors traditionally, I had to come up with different, balanced costumes with different textures, patterns in monochromatic scheme to match with his Piet Mondrian concept.


I believe my mother would call the quality I describe as "stubbornness" and I'm not so sure she's been so keen on this fantastic character attribute I possess. However unconstructive my attitude could be at home, I'd like to think it has had its good qualities in other areas, like my photography! Which brings me back to my first point--wedding bands!

I think my stubbornness is what drives my new ring arranging obsession. My recent refusal to photograph bands in the obligatory (albeit beautiful!) fashion stuffed in a rose somewhere in the bride's bouquet has led me to work ridiculously hard at finding a unique, creative way to display the rings every time that somehow has a piece of the couple's personality/celebration. Mazvita & Ben's wedding today was no exception.



Talk about sustainable centerpieces! (Although when we left Mazvita was looking for homes for those cute goldfish!) Before I shot the above photo, Brian warned me that the "fishy water" would harm Mazvita & Ben's rings and since I wasn't the one that paid hundreds of dollars for them I should probably avoid putting them in the bowls. That's probably very wise, practical advice that we should all listen to. However, as seems consistent with my attitude throughout life (right, Mom?), I politely and sheepishly told him I was going to shoot the rings in the bowl with the fish anyway. Mazvita approved when she found out. I knew it! So, take that, Brian!

[See, Mom, my stubbornness has a purpose in life and serves well today. Who would have thunk it? And there were times you had no hope!]


Finally, for those of you dying to see photos of Mazvita and Ben from today (especially those friends overseas that Skyped with Mazvita this morning while she was sans makeup and sporting a fashionable do-rag!), here are a few to tide you over until it's not 2:00 in the morning and I'm still up after shooting a gorgeous wedding all day. = )







Happy weekend after Memorial Day/Mazvita & Ben Wedding weekend, everyone!

.:mmm... dessert:.

So Brian and I have the pleasure and honor of shooting a good friend of mine's wedding TOMORROW! Dear Mazvita Matsiga (for those of you not fluent in the native tongue of Zimbabwe, that's pronounced Mah-ZHEE-tah). Brian reminded me tonight at their rehearsal dinner (after they announced Ben's mother had made wonderful oreo dessert for us all) that perhaps the delight of dessert didn't exactly mesh well with my ongoing and progressively more rigorous goal of being healthy and limiting my sugar intake.

Mazvita held her bachelorette party at Encore Wine & Dessert last night and I'm afraid that ever since I viewed the amazing plating of these sugary indulgences, I have had desserts on my mind. Here are a few of the delightful decadences we were able to enjoy last evening. (I was good... err... well... better since I had carrot cake and scraped off all of the icing. That means technically I ate veggies last night and that shows I have a lot of willpower, right?)

Anyway, Encore's desserts last evening looked too amazing not to 1. Photograph (Mazvita told me to NOT bring my camera but I couldn't resist) and 2. Share with all of you out there with a sweet tooth. (The Lord has blessed me with a husband that despises not only chocolate but sweet things in general. Which means if he did enjoy them as much as I do that I would be 20 lbs. heavier than I am now!) So if you're in Columbia and wanting a late night delicious dessert after an evening movie or night out on the downtown scene, head on over to Encore and try something. After all, it isn't everyday you can go out just for dessert. = )









(Oh, and in my defense my justification of bringing my camera to the bachelorette party at which I was supposed to be a guest alone is that I had to have a guinea pig event to try out some new flash work--homemade gels! To prove it, I post the following photo as evidence! Pretty cool, huh?)



Oh, and to be fair, here is a photo of the breathtaking soon-to-be-Mrs-Lewton. Someone (likely one of her amazing matrons of honor, Kate Kromann) came up with the idea that all attendees had to dress in black and white while the bride-to-be would be in some color to add spice and drama and, well, stand out. Stand out she did in this amazing purple dress. Ah, to have purple compliment your skin tone.

.:kisses:.

Pretty much sums up the day. = )

Megan and Ben, you are some pretty cool cats.

.:and for your information:.

And for all those of you have been dying to see some of our normal photography here is a teaser from tonight's engagement session with my dear friend Mazvita and her fiance Ben. Told you we found new spots! (Luckily it appears the shady vines weren't poison ivy because I am not itching yet!) They'll be getting hitched in just a few weeks here. I also have some to post from another couple, Megan and Ben, who will be getting married this weekend and having their reception in what appears to be a mid-Missouri CASTLE but I wanted to save their engagement and wedding photos for all one post.

Happy Wednesday!

.:love language of time:.

So recently Brian and I's time has been pretty... well... scarce. For those of you that know us well you will remember that we talk about The Five Love Languages quite frequently. We are blessed such that my primary love language is Brian's secondary and my secondary is his primary. It works out well.

Anyway, these past few weeks have been hectic, to say the least, and time for the two of us has been at a premium. Yesterday after coming home from running errands Brian and I decided to go driving and scouting for new photography locations. We've done a lot of downtown shoots recently and I'm a photographer that tends to be inspired by new surroundings. With a slew of engagement shoots coming up it's time we found some new places around the area.

Anyway, back to the love languages.

My love language is Quality Time. That means that I feel most loved and my "love tank" is most filled when I am spending time and talking with the one I love. So when Brian and I went to drive around, chat, take photos, and explore needless to say I was a happy camper by the end of the night. We made our way to both Cooper's Landing (which was flooded) and to McBaine (where I'd never been) to check out their legendary tree. Brian took lots of pictures of me for fun and refused to let me take many of him. He claimed his hair was too poofy. (I cut it today so no more excuses next time!)

We did a little hand holding, which fulfilled his love language of touch. One of our best dates ever with no money involved but the gas in our tank. My husband is amazing.

Next adventure? MOVING! We're going to have an impromptu garage sale on Friday & Saturday morning before we head out for a wedding. Anyone need any purses/magazines/home decor/candles?


----

When we arrived to check out Cooper's Landing we noticed something fishy was happening. The road suddenly dipped underwater. Uh oh. Can't drive any more. Whatever shall we do?



Brian, like the trooper and awesome husband he is, suggested we forge ahead on foot. He rolled up his jeans (and looked so hot!) and led the way through the flooded road like a real man. = )



Lucky for me, I had just purchased my first real pair of cowboy boots only hours earlier to use for the wedding season. I learned very quickly that not only are boots cute with skirts, but they are amazingly water proof. (So sorry, parents, for resisting them all my life! I was woefully wrong!)



After a few bends and turns in the road (and more than a little water) we got to the two bridges Brian had been telling me about.



Only problem is that everything was underwater...



...including our only path to the bridge. This is Brian emoting our feelings. (To his benefit, he did offer to drive back to Wal-Mart, find a one-time inflatable raft and return the next day so we could float the 15 feet out to the other, much older bridge that is only feet away.)


So we walked on back to our car waiting on the outskirts of the flooded road. Brian paused long enough to let me take this photograph. That's right, Peter, you're not the only one with faith enough to walk on water.



Brian decided he'd take a stab at portraits for once. I was wearing a dress I found in my grandmother's dress up closet several years ago. It's a legit vintage dress. Not only is it completely the wrong cut for my body type but yellow is ridiculously hard to pull off. My pale skin is not the color to do it justice. Regardless, it was fun to wear on our little date alone.



Golden hour before sunset = beautiful light (He insisted I not only post this one in the blog but that I change my facebook photo to it immediately when we returned last night. Respectful wife that I am, I complied.)


And, finally the infamous McBaine tree Brian has told me so much about. His photo, not mine.


Life is well. = )

.:lindsey & guy:.

I love weddings. I love meeting new people and being thrust behind the scenes of some of the most exciting and intimate days of their lives. I can't really put into words nor explain the connection that normally happens between the bride and I on her wedding day. Often we seem to become instant friends even if that is our first day to meet. She understands me, I understand her. We share knowing looks throughout the day and our smiles are infectious. There's a camaraderie that happens that I wish I could articulate. Lindsey was no exception.

Lindsey and Guy found us when Lindsey saw another of our bride's profile pictures on facebook. You may have seen it before:

Lindsey tracked us down from there. They even decided to move their wedding date back several months when they discovered that we were booked on the day they wanted!

Lindsey met Guy when she was still in High School. He was creative and artsy whereas she was the organizer. He wasn't like the other guys she had dated. Guy was different. He cared. He worked to put her first instead of himself. He was tender. He pushed her to aim high and dream big. Though he was several years her senior she had always acted older than her age and so, naturally, their courtship blossomed quickly. They had already been talking marriage seriously when they were surprised with Layla. Lindsey thought for sure with the addition of Layla to their now growing family she would obviously have to wait for some time until he would be able to propose since, as many of us know, babies are expensive. But she was wrong! Guy saved and worked more hours than Lindsey realized and one beautiful summer day, much to her excitement and surprise, he proposed!

During their engagement period (and with the addition of Layla) Guy and Lindsey started sorting out what was important in their lives. They decided God needed to be their primary driving force and love; that Layla needed to grow up with them in a creative, loving environment; and they decided they wanted all of their family to be around them on their special day. They went through ups and downs in the process. There were tears. There were times of uncontrollable laughter. There was hesitation, but, greatest of all, Guy and Lindsey worked it all out together, hand in hand.

Only a few months before their wedding, Guy and Lindsey found themselves in the lap of God. The two (separately) experienced God and His love like they never had before and knew that they needed to make some changes in their relationship with one another to honor Him in their few months left until marriage. They were both afraid to come to one another but were overjoyed when they learned that God had taught the other the exact same thing at the exact same time. They knew that God needed to be bigger, to be overarching, and they needed to allow Him to take His place as the head of all of their lives.

The day we arrived Guy was working on spraying glitter on the final decorations and getting little Layla fed. Lindsey was driving around bridesmaids, getting to hair appointments, and making sure all things were gathered. The driftwood with photos of them, the seashells in netting, the bubbling fountain, the purple flowers everywhere, Lindsey's bouquet she made herself complete with seashells (that we later discovered were perhaps a little too sharp as Brian accidentally cut himself on one!). Their wedding was absolutely Guy and Lindsey! The men helped set up the chairs outside in front of the gazebo despite the warnings that light showers were expected. Guy and Lindsey had decided long ago that rain or shine they would be getting married outside! As the bridesmaids scattered to walk up the aisle, Lindsey and I were left alone. I looked at her and gently asked if she wanted to pray. Her eyes lit up and we shared a sweet moment of offering to God as we prayed for a few moments before her father came to get her.

Lindsey and Guy bless our socks off. They love one another. Brian and I have talked so many times about how privileged we feel to have met them, known them, and captured the celebration of their wedding.

.:for the love of all that is wonderful:.

There’s a scenario repeated in the Taulbee household at least a dozen times each day. For those of you who haven't spent much time with Brian and I, I will try to describe it in third person for you. It goes something like this:

Mallory is diligently working on something on the computer or elsewhere when she notices Brian staring at her out of the corner of her eye—he has a huge grin on his face. She slowly swivels her chair around and looks at him, working to hide a smile. There is a long pause as the two look at one another, he with a growing grin, she maintaining a half pursed smile. Mallory generally breaks the silence as she stares at Brian who still continues to grin as wide as he can, “Yes?” she asks slowly and purposefully. Brian then responds with something like, “You’re pretty,” or “You’re just so beautiful, I can’t stop staring at you,” or “You’re gorgeous!” Brian then somehow manages to place an even bigger grin on his face, one that notes that he is proud of himself. Mallory then usually shakes her head, rolls her eyes slightly, and smiles. Sometimes she tries to say something deflecting or witty, sometimes she rewards him with a kiss, but often she just smiles and simply turns around to continue working on whatever it was she was working on when Brian interrupted her with his looks of awe.

Today Brian and I were perusing a local hardware store after our Chinese dinner. We haven’t had Chinese nor eaten out for a very long time so it was a treat for both of us. (Thanks, Mom, for giving us this for Easter!) On a side note, Brian is still amused at my womanly need to browse without purchasing anything. I tell him it’s part of my inspiration as an artist. I need to see what’s in the world, the possibilities, and then draw my creativity in part from that. New things spark new ideas.

Back to the Chinese. We’ve had a history of having some of our most profound and deep revelations while sharing good, half-cold Chinese buffet (maybe it’s the MSG overload?). Though tonight’s revelations weren’t profound, they were good.

A man I do not know personally but whose heart and character I deeply admire (some of you are familiar with John Piper) recently decided to take a leave of absence from all public speaking/duties/jobs/books/etc. He’s a rather important man in the life of contemporary evangelicals so the fact that he’s taking a leave of absence has created quite a buzz. The reason, you ask? Adultery? Lust? Alcoholism? Some other dirty scandal in the church? Thankfully, no. It appears that his leave of absence is due in large part to the fact that this important man has decided that he needs to learn to love his wife better. They’ve been married for 41 years but he still won't settle with a mediocre marriage. What a man!

As I was reading some of the blog commentaries and thoughts, I came across a list someone somewhere wrote out. The blogger realized that he himself had become too wrapped up in his work and the "things of God" and needed to learn to love his wife, too. He wrote out a list of questions to ask her that would, hopefully, lead to revelation of deep things and perhaps uncover wounds in his wife's heart he never knew were there. So Brian and I, over our partially cold and dried out Chinese buffet, went through this list of questions. The questions are simple but have potential to bring so much reconciliation and redemption when asked and answered thoughtfully. So much so that I felt it important to share them (or, well, a partially edited version censored for the innocents and unmarrieds) for those of us who realize that there is always room to improve and always a way to love and serve our spouse more:

Questions to get to know her better
1. What are some ways that I can demonstrate my love to you in a meaningful way?
2. When do you feel most appreciated?
3. How do I make you feel emotionally distant?
4. How can I pray for you?
5. How can I help you to know God better?
6. In what ways have I sinned against you?
7. What would help you to be more satisfied emotionally & physically?
8. How could I help us to reconcile our misunderstandings better?
9. In what ways could I help relieve physical stress?
10. What is one way I could tangibly serve you?

So in the middle of this mostly empty Chinese restaurant as Brian and I asked and answered these questions of one another I was struck again at how incredibly blessed I am. Thankfully, these questions didn’t bring up for us a myriad of issues that have been buried or almost forgotten and are painful to the touch, but served instead as reminders of how great it is to walk through life with another and give your life to them. There were parts of previous relationships in which if I had gone through this list of questions it would have undoubtedly provoked a crying/shouting match that could have lasted for days.

Over our cold Chinese I reminisced about all of the young men I have admired and had crushes on over the years. I listed my old dream guy out to Brian and reminded him (and we laughed about it) that he somehow fits little to none of my former criterion of who would make my perfect husband. However, the realization I came to over my dinner tonight though was that the list I had made and agonized over so long ago only focused on deeds and not really on heart. I realized that the “perfect man” I had put together so many years ago would never have loved me the way I wanted him to because he would have been way too busy and stubborn. He would never have treated me the way I needed him to. He would never have appreciated me the way I need to be appreciated.

That’s the beauty and charm of Brian. He loves me in ways I don’t even know yet that I need to be loved in. He is my biggest cheerleader. He is my encourager extraordinaire. He bends over backwards each day to find out what he can do to serve me better. He never yells, never sets out to hurt me, is always gentle, is always kind, always hopes the best of me, forgives my wrongdoings, forgets my faults… and yet still knows exactly who I am and loves every part of me. Despite the fact that my dear, brilliant husband doesn’t have a prominent position at Fortune 500 company, can't teach to save his life (I always wanted to marry a Bible study leader), refuses still to sing in front of an audience (I had my eye on a few worship leaders...), hasn’t written influential books, still forgets that I like surprises, takes four hours instead of 20 minutes to wash dishes by hand, and generally appears rather quiet and aloof when you meet him in a group of people he will likely never have to take a leave of absence from his job to learn how to better love me. He won’t have 41 years of marriage pass him by to realize he hasn’t been listening for my needs because he asks me every day. He has shown me, already, in our almost three years of marriage that no job or task is more important than I am. And if the job is threatening to come between him loving me and serving me in a way that makes me feel special, he decided long ago that it wasn't worth it.

He loves me. He loves this short, bossy, stubborn, sass-mouthed little girl. I still don't get it, but it's an amazing gift of mercy. I am blessed.





If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. 1 Corinthians 13:1-8

If we only knew...